update

It's been a while since I have blogged simply because I can't find time to sit down and do it. I also sometimes feel like what I have to say is just boring and not interesting. So this post is going to be pretty much where we are at with the two boys lately.

Joel is 8 weeks old today and I cannot believe how fast it has gone... but then again, I knew it would fly by! He is almost 13 pounds and I call him my little pork-chop! He is nursing well; although definitely a different experience than Luke. Joel is a no no nonsense eater... just feed him and he's done. (Luke liked to be cuddled and he would nurse to sleep) Joel rarely falls asleep nursing and usually doesn't when you rock him either. He is a grunter and snorter when it comes to all the noises he makes; he sounds like a pig in a mud hole!! He still has all his dark hair, but I think it's lightening and that he might be losing some of it in the back. Joel is sleeping well; the past three nights he's gone from 10 pm to about 5 am! So I was very excited for that stretch. I'm not counting on it to continue consistently but I am very happy with his progress and am grateful that he is doing so well. He prefers to sleep on his back, but I try to put him on his side and stomach as well because he has a little bit of a flat spot on the one side of his head. He really favors turning his head one way. So I try to turn his head during the day, but I can't spend my entire day doing that! So, Joel is a great baby over all, but he certainly has a set of lungs on him... usually between about 6:30 and 9 pm he is extremely fussy and he has these spells where he just screams bloody murder for no reason. It is frustrating but it's consistent so I know that it is just his fussy time of night.

Everyone asks me how I'm doing handling two kids and I feel like it's pretty easy. The only times I feel like I might lose it are when they are both crying or when Luke is being disobedient or when Joel is just not content to be anywhere but in my arms which limits what I need to do for Luke and just around the house. That makes it hard but I am so blessed to have both of them and that they are healthy and whole!

Luke is almost 2 1/2 and pretty much talking in complete sentences! He is a very sharp kid but very, very sensitive. He is very aware of peoples feelings and emotions. It amazes me how he picks up on such "adult" like things. (it makes Matt and I have to be so careful w/ what we say and talk about... and how we say stuff!) Luke has adjusted well to Joel and seems to mind his own business most of the time and not really care that Joel takes up so much of my time. He loves to watch me change his diaper and watch us bath him. He tries to share his toys with him by lifting his arm and putting an animal there... so it is very cute to see his tender heart. (but I do know it won't be long till they are fighting over toys!) Luke gives him kisses and hugs and wants to help Matt feed him his bottle on occasion. He loves Elmo, Veggie Tales, Boz, and his new favorite movie is The Jungle Book. I try to limit TV but it really comes in handy when I need to get a shower, feed Joel, or just need a break! (I know I'm not the only one! :))

As far as I go... there are times where I question my purpose... I know that sounds crazy because I KNOW what my purpose is - but I guess it's just in those moments of my weaknesses that I am like "what is my life all about?!" Christ needs to be my center and I need to have Him in all I do but I can and have to admit it's hard to find the quality time with Him that I know I need. I am doing what I know my purpose is and I love being a wife and a mom; I love that I am doing what I have always wanted to do - it's just that it's a daily battle for me to always choose joy in every circumstance of life. So, all this to say... I'm learning every day, that I can't rely on my own self for everything I need to stay sane and happy - but that I need to totally rely on God for my strength and to go on what I KNOW not on what I feel. Hard. But nothing is impossible with God and his strength!

That's all for now; hopefully it will be sooner than later that I post!