deep oceans

I'm feeling kind of depressed this week. Since I'm not working, things are tight for us right now. I get overwhelmed when I think about having to buy x-mas gifts for our entire family. I don't want us to have to dig into our savings. Ebay is just not as good as it once was. It's almost a waist of money to list something since things don't really sell. Matt's job has been really slow too. I know I can't worry about it. It's all in God's hands. I always knew I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, and Matt and I will not have our children in day care. We believe it's our responsibility to raise them. So this being the case, I need to just bust my butt to try to sell more things on eBay. I don't want to think I have to have a huge chunk of change in the bank to make me feel secure! That's not what it's all about! I have to remind myself of that. I guess this is the depths of my heart right now... like an ocean swirling about... deep and bottomless. I need God to make me feel whole... help!