Can I really do two?

I'll start off by saying that today was a very challenging day for me in regards to the disciplining aspects of being a parent. I'm not sure if Luke was just having a bad day ( or me ) ... or if it was because we had a play date; and all his little buddies were here. Either way, it was one of those days where I felt frustrated beyond belief and like I failed as a mom since my patience level was hitting empty! I have moments where I question how I am going to take care of a newborn and stay on top of a contstantly running two year old who needs consistent discipline... ( all the while recovering from having a baby, being sleep deprived, and nursing every two hours... !!! ) Now, I do realize that my energy will eventually increase, and that I will have moments where Joel will be sleeping, but I still find myself wondering how I am going to carry out such important tasks: caring for two little humans who will be relying on ME for their EVERYTHING!?! ... Hmm, and you may be thinking... "you're not the first to feel this way" and "oh yeah, what about God?" And I am thinking the same thing. I know I am not the first mom to do this; That I will get through it; That I will not be able to do this by myself; That I will not be able to pull the strength from anywhere but God; AND that I will not be able to expect perfection. ( THAT right there folks, is where the crap will hit the fan ) I expect perfection because that is the way I am wired. I am a very disciplined, very determined, and very stubborn person! I want things my way and if they don't opporate in that state... I get pretty unhappy. Haha!!!! I have often wondered that perhaps God gave me children to teach me, instead of just the notion that I'm the one teaching them everything... a thought I definitely ponder alot and hope that I can remember! My little ones may be the very thing that help me develope more Christ-like characteristics and actions!

So, after many thoughts today, I know in my heart and mind that I will somehow get through the first couple months... and probably many more as well! Only though, if I remember to rely on His strength and not think that I have to have an always-obedient son - or son-S! :)